VOTE LIK ROPER FOR PRESIDENT 2020
CALL THE WHITE HOUSE @ 1-202-456-1414
WHEN I AM PRESIDENT I WILL:
*do whatever i can to empower the american people, so that oppressive, top-down court-based control can finally be replaced by plain and simple, bottom-up people power - where the voices of many can finally rise up to the high heavens above, and the responsibility for a better future is placed directly into the hands of the american people;
*introduce preliminary plans to run automobiles on tap water [click here] then create pilot programs in high school auto shops [etc] to teach students how to make the gasoline-H20 conversion; *push for efficient, quiet and clean mass transit systems that would not only greatly reduce our dependence on oil, but reduce transportation costs, pollution and traffic accidents by supporting regional rapid transit systems that utilize pre-existing railroad lines and highways [on elevated tracks when necessary] to abate inevitable future traffic headaches; *allow local affected residents to determine traffic tolerance levels; and *connect local, state and federal transportation officials for the creation of new regional traffic abatement policies like widespread federally mandated irretractable residential speed hump installation and 5-10 mph highway speed limit increases to drastically improve transportation systems with mandatory large-scale regional coordination for; 1) efficient commerce, 2) less traffic congestion and 3) an overall improved quality of life; *encourage transportation authorities to establish an augmented zero-emission school bussing system with sub-stations for: a) efficient distribution of students; b) decreased traffic congestion in once quiet neighborhoods; and c) accelerated commerce allowing parents to get to work and generate tax revenues (so i can get paid); *encourage auto makers to develop more advanced exhaust filtration systems that can also be retrofitted into older model vehicles to eliminate atmospheric emissions; and *bolster and modify the EPA;
*increase the diversity of voices and ownership in media, to make media more responsive to the needs of citizens in a democracy, and to protect the editorial independence of public broadcasting; *advance campaign reforms that make people and ideas more important than money; *make certain that government is open, ethical and accountable; *remove barriers to voting and ensure that our voting systems are accurate and accessible; and *increase participation in the political process;
*do something about: a) environmental degradation (from global warming to land erosion) by mandating the creation of wildlife rehabilitation centers built in congruence with habitat lost - b) widely reported corporate crime, fraud, and abuse - c) runaway harmful technologies - d) urban poverty, redlining, and the decline of the family farm economy - and e) the relentless commercialization of every nook and cranny of our society; *designate some residential zones as protected wildlife sanctuaries and increase fines for any roadkill within these zones; (to create safer neighborhoods and help promote 'societal evolution' so to speak [some highways, expressways, industrial zones, and rural areas full of ornery rednecks or high-tech workers could be exempt]; *recognize the dignity and innate worth of every living creature as not a matter of reluctant concession, but one of easy acceptance; *utilize the ad council largely for environmental education; and *semi-naturalize some public parks to add necessary wildlife habitat;
*guarantee everyone K-12 + higher education [junior college education for all + selective university placements for all students with a 3.5 to 4.0 grade point average, regardless of financial status], expand the variety of creative educational alternatives to; a) improve school attendance; and b) help discontinue the use of animal control truancy abatement methods by police; and *not require school uniforms [which tend to discourage rogue individuality and therefore cultivate a generation of highly controllable corporate automatons unable to think for themselves];
*overcome petrochemical dependence; *tax fossil fuel production, subsidize biomass fuels and worker retraining; *tax coal based electrical production, subsidize biomass electricity and worker retraining; *tax wood pulp paper production, subsidize tree-free paper and worker retraining; *develop oil slick 'skimmer' ships with built-in water processing facilities designed to remove oil from water and discharge clean, treated effluent; *bolster oil spill recovery equipment around all heavily transgressed ports with a half cent gas tax that will also fund research to develop more efficient oil spill recovery equipment; and *ban offshore oil drilling forever;
*allow people to tell the federal energy regulatory commission to 'FERC OFF'; *favor energy price caps and reshape our energy policy to favor cleaner, more efficient technologies, (such as solar) by subsidizing the installation of photovoltaic solar energy panels on commercial, industrial and residential rooftops and create larger tax breaks for all solar energy users; and/or *prohibit government-owned utilities (or any energy provider for that matter) from committing grand theft by purposely jacking up wholesale electricity prices to unreasonably high levels; and *address global warming by ending the bush administration's 'war on the environment'.;
*mandate that all new housing utilize ultra-efficient lighting systems and electrical devices to maximize efficiency and conservation on a large scale; *bolster funding for the research and development of renewable energy sources; *develop new waste disposal/recycling systems to reduce and eventually eliminate the need for landfills [and eventually recycle 100% of all waste]; and *mandate computer recycling programs;
*support green taxes on industries that are not environmentally sustainable with mandatory taxes in congruence with incurred environmental damage(s) for an overall reduction and eventual total elimination of all forms of environmental disruption; *embrace an expanded williamson act by which farmers can receive property tax breaks when faced with encroachment from excess suburban sprawl; *hold high-density housing developers guilty of abusive overcrowding; *place growth restrictions on areas with uncontrolled development like silicon valley and encourage more high-rise corporate/residential construction with adjacent sanctuaries for communal gardening, leisure activities, and the support of wildlife; *give tax breaks to corporations that dedicate at land to wildlife sanctuaries and encourage the reintroduction of native species of vegetation and wildlife into other previously and overly developed areas; *make eminent domain applicable only to commercial and/or industrial zones; and *encourage local governments to honor their city charters;
*mandate urban growth boundaries requiring developers to pay all new infrastructure costs to serve their projects and require voter approval of all community plans; *limit existing urban service boundaries beyond which property owners would be ineligible for city services (sewer water etc) to discourage excessive new development in undeveloped areas; *introduce important blanket land policies to create progressive habitat preservation ratios that allocate land more efficiently towards future human encroachment especially in over-developed areas; *always favor rezoning and redevelopment of old commercial properties over new development of wildlands or agricultural zones, and always offer full transitional compensation to those affected; *help return prime farmland like the silicon valley back to its' agricultural roots by replanting some orchards in selected spots; *reform the farm subsidy programs, and encourage farmers to rotate crops; *provide credit assistance to organic growers only; *shift USDA research from chemical to non-chemical pest controls; *utilize mosquito fish for mosquito abatement, instead of pesticides; *require the preservation of one acre of open space for every two developed; and *arrange for colleges and universities to dedicate some space to wildlife rehabilitation purposes;
*force all cities to create rent stabilization boards with members elected directly by city voters; *support - a) no federal taxes; b) living wages; and c) rent control measures [for those with incomes under $20,000 per year]; *simplify by-laws to aid constituents in their community involvements; *propose that voters choose city council members to represent specific neighborhoods within the city; and *keep all levels of government open, accountable, accessible, and less hypocritical;
*create a global flat tax levy of 0.1 percent on currency movements to generate $300 billion annually to ensure sustainable future economic development and provide environmental protection;
*positively shore up social security; *absolve most third world debt; *vigorously re-examine the federal reserve; *replace the IRS with a computer and introduce a tiered flat tax; *tax no more than 30% of total income; *ween the U.S. government off taxpayer dollars through semi-privatization; and *eliminate ghoulish government inheritance double-taxation (to encourage the creation of a safer society for all);
*cyber-democratize the public hearings process so constituents have more control of public proceedings by creating democratic reforms to change our government system from a stonewalling demagogue that shoves any decision they damn well please down our collective throats, into a more constituency based cyber-democratic decision-making system that will ultimately liberate the political energies of committed citizens to build a deliberative and functioning democracy to treat the systemic problems of our society with systemic justice; *cite the costa rican government as an example of democracy (and/or environmental protection) at its finest; *end the use of 'divide and conquer' neighborhood social engineering practices to unify and strengthen the constituency base;
*ensure that out of an informed, motivated, and mobilized people will come the justice that spells genuine prosperity and the broader fulfillment of human possibilities for all; and *create a democracy whose politics is our own common public work: where citizens are as prudent in deliberation as we expect our representatives to be; where public problem solving takes the place of private complaint; where all give life to liberty and rights are complemented by the responsibilities that make them real;
*end the arrogant and distant caricature of true jeffersonian democracy practiced in america; *create a federal task force to investigate government/corporate corruption and crime; *account for all lottery revenue information on public websites; and *not try to pay-off some constituents with tax refunds or tax breaks;
*fundamentally redefine the relationship between citizens and government, giving everyone the option to be active participants in producing public goods such as a clean environment and safe streets, not simply passive recipients of government largess; *define 'public' as the domain of citizens, not just government, thrusting in the broad common sense judgements of citizens rather than the narrow expertise of technocratic elites; *require that judges' decisions upon issues regarding election appeals will reflect the democratic vote of the people; taxpayers and their democratic votes will guide and/or direct all government actions; and *consider all constituents to be quite honorable;
*devise a formula not only for less government, but for more effective and democratic governance where individual citizens and community institutions assume more responsibility for tackling public problems; *seek to make government more representative, more participatory and more responsive to all members of the community, and find ways to accord citizens more information, and more say more often; *hand down our present demagogue democracy to third world countries;*stop judges from acting as dictators and/or CEOs (and/or pharises); *unite personal will with the divine will and return power to the people; and *restore constitutional government to create a true democratic republic of, for and by the people;
*be a powerful force at the forefront of a movement to build support to deepen democracy by re-igniting the power of QI within everyone; *allowing people to display a certain amount of arrogance that does not play well in the political give-and-take that is the basis of all public policy debates; *consider american citizens the source of all political power and responsible for instructing state lawmakers to direct their agents in washington to confine the functions of government to the limitations defined within the constitution of the united states; and *see the state as being responsible and having authority to correct violations of the constitution by its agents (executive, legislative and judicial) having created the federal government by the first three articles of the united states constitution;
*redefine the role of city governments relegating power to constituents by integrating internet and encryption technology (phone systems, etc) with city council meetings for the creation of an expanded voting system, and mandate that high-tech industries expedite development of this new empowering technology;
*scale back government to create a subserviant workforce eventually made obsolete and replaced by computer systems programmed by constituents; and *seek to curb the role of private money, special interests and corruption in government, and similarly ask how 'private governments' - whether corporations, labor unions, or voluntary associations can become; more responsive to their members and the needs of their respective communities
*not on one hand prosecute corporations for anti-competitive practices, then turn around and use those same corporations to control the democratic process; *wipe out the political decay that has turned our government over to a money-dominated plutocracy and to the politicians who take its' marching orders; *not give all-american city awards to cities that ignore constituents (probably because of their pompous attitudes and charter city statuses); and *not allow anarchists to be planted by corporations and/or governments to disperse protesters;
*utilize the internet, ATMs, lotto machines and telephone systems to virtually revolutionize the voting system by allowing voters to decide on issues of vital local, state, national and international importance such as nuclear disarmament and/or general demilitarization, campaign finance, tax reforms and drug decriminalization; *take on the ballot-shielded two-party duopoly and give a voice not only to regular voters, but to the half of all eligible voters who do not vote because they do not believe their vote means anything; and *de-commission the supreme court and keep the building as a historic landmark to remind people of the kind of blatant un-democratic demagoguery that once occurred on american soil, (before the U.S. became a fully actualized nation of, for and by the people, where deepened democracy finally took hold, when new hampshire-style democracy spread across the land to grant local control to all constituents, and congress was limited to international duties);
*not ignore constituents and ultimately obstruct their valiant efforts to wear them down and frustrate them from being involved in the democratic process; *give hero awards to those who openly and vehemently oppose government policies (instead of placing them under investigation); *encourage all public speakers redressing grievances to speak with the forcefulness and intensity of a member of congress; *prohibit any silencing of peaceful subversives who raise their voices in dissent for change and *mandate that city councils prioritize public hearings by placing them first on the agenda, instead of making people wait around all night to speak;
*ask local governments to plant fruit trees in city parks to supply annual food for the homeless; *make the point that there is no majority because everyone is totally unique; *realize and bolster self-reliance for all indigenous peoples; and*remind people that obedience to an informed conscience is more important than any written law;
*rein in concentrated corporate powers' collision course with democracy, and end the political system that has degenerated into a government of the power brokers, by the power brokers, and for the power brokers, far beyond the control or accountability of average citizens; *remind people that the words constitution and constituent are very similar, and originate from the same root word; and *not pledge allegiance to blind allegiance;
*reinvent democracy by creating new tools of empowerment: new mechanisms of civic interaction, political organization, government assistance, and legal rights that can advance the distinct interests of many; and *take private money out of the election process in order to divorce the candidates from their obligations to repay their major contributors with no bid contracts and special provisions in bills that have nothing to do with the issues at hand;
*make conspiracy laws applicable to inter-governmental power monopolies (attorneys general, etc.) to discourage any further obstructions of democracy; and *permit pay raises for civil servants only if authorized by a democratic vote of the citizens (no government employee should be exempt from this law);
*not utilize new tank-mounted microwave radiation crowd control technology (created in conjunction with the major automakers) to thwart soft targets like anti-SUV protestors, making tienamen square and/or kent state pale in comparison; *redefine the all-american term 'of, for and by the people' by re-examining exactly who those people are and their functions; *not let a massive CIA blunder (911) deny people of their constitutional rights (federal or state) and not allocate more funds to spy agencies who collude with Mossad; *not allow the idealistic dream of deepened democracy to perish because of a temporal 'war' emergency, and not re-instate mccarthyism in response to it; *require psychological testing and anger management courses for all war supporters and/or supporters of terrorism, and remind everyone once again that any act of war is an act of terrorism (period.); and *prosecute defense contractors (and governments who support them) for child endangerment, human rights violations, inciting riots, and aiding and abetting terrorist wartime activities worldwide;
*allow peaceful protestors to utilize human aura force field fortifying generators when being bombarded with tank-mounted electromagnetic wave crowd control equipment on the battle field [X]; *force law enforcement to treat protestors better than your average death row prisoner, ban off-camera jailhouse abuses, and question 'don't ask - don't tell' police strip-search policies; and *remove all war supporters from the face of the earth in one clean sweep with cool new back engineered military UFO technology [then provide anger management courses and psychological testing on some distant planet];
*consider the U.S. defense departments' seemingly purposeful spread of the synthetic biological agent responsible for the AIDS virus in 1970 a deliberate act of global biological terrorism aimed at de-population; *warn people to be leery of any new mass smallpox vaccinations because that is how the AIDS virus and the carcinogenic simian virus SV40 was initially purposefully spread into the human population; and *require third party toxicity screenings for all new immunization vaccines to prevent the purposeful spread of any more viral infections like the AIDS virus;
*decommission many covert underground bases for peaceful scientific purposes; *remove all military installations from the ancient global energy grid; *scale back secret government black project spending; *adequately disclose to congress and the public the legal guidelines for the echelon satellite; and *dismantle all existing nuclear arsenals;
*not set a lazy tone by taking month long vacations right before 911; *place all known gang members on the terrorism watch list; *almost expect many citizens to hate the government considering all the varied crap that they pull off on a daily basis; *make certain that our government is held accountable for the costs, in lives and money, for the invasion of iraq; *strongly oppose war, and generally oppose infanticide and/or abortion without making it illegal; *create legislation to ban all chemical weapons including pesticides or chlorinated toxins etc; *force NATO to adopt no-kill policy to encourage development of more advanced and humane military techniques (just say NATO to violence?); *require the military to respect civilian authority, remain outside politics and stay within U.S. borders; *require psychological evaluation and enlistment for all war supporters; *prosecute cops for shooting problem humans; *increase penalties for animal abusers; *encourage the development of humane alternatives to animal testing such as computer simulation; *not advocate violating human rights laws in the process of enforcing them; *prohibit law enforcement from euthanizing innocent, unarmed people; *enact strict bad-cop, no-doughnut policies.
*support and strictly enforce the universal declaration of human rights adopted by the U.N. general assembly in 1947; *mandate full enforcement of all civil, human, and animal rights laws; *work towards a global ban on all offensive wartime maneuvers*remember seven generations into the past and future when making decisionsstart a peaceful revolution within government to eliminate all forms of 'government-sanctioned' violence; and *support a simultaneous worldwide civilian demilitarization vote;
*introduce a bill to transfer jurisdiction over the national forests from the department of agriculture to the department of the interior to change the goals of the forest service from utilization to preservation; and *move some threatened or endangered species to selected remote areas where they can flourish without negative impacts on the environment, not as an excuse to roll back ecosystem protections, but instead as a low-cost safeguard against extinction;
*encourage disenfranchised youth to join radical environmental protest organizations because college is no guarantee of anything anymore (and besides governments and/or multinational corporations are conspiring to slowly destroy our mother earth at closed-door world trade meetings not unlike medieval rulers holed up in a castle surrounded by a mote designed to hold all of the lowly and unruly peasants at bay); *head off projects that harm wildlife habitat, especially wetlands-damaging development outside urban boundaries to ensure the protection of critical habitat for rare and endangered species; and *commit no less than 40% percent of FBI resources to investigating public corruption;
*make constitutional rights applicable to all people (as well as those involved in presidential elections), and ensure that all people reserve their full constitutional rights when entering any courtroom or public hearings facility;*add indoor plants and candles to courtrooms to maximize metaphysical goodness; *require all judges to spend a minimum of one hour per year locked in a jail cell to add perspective to decisions, (because teenagers are not always the ones who need to be 'scared straight'); *allow public officials (judges, etc) to be prosecuted as public nuisances; *will not whip out vaguely written 'domestic terrorism' laws to control angry non-violent constituents when forcefully shoving more heavy-handed government legislation down the collective throats of the public; *will not use the CIA , FBI (or the media) to create high profile distractions from larger, more important stories or issues; and *teach children to never trust the government because they are a dangerous cross between a heavily armed gang, a dogmatic religious cult and a corporation with a stranglehold monopoly on society;
*use census statistics less divisively to help unify a divided constituency base; *establish shared religious worship facilities to help unify and consolidate ideologies and improve space utilization; *respect all religions and/or ideologies by allowing neo-pagans to run naked and free in public once again; *prohibit age discrimination within the health care pricing system and expand the use of massage therapy, chiropractic care and holistic medicine within the industry; and *require all government programs to have a three to five year evaluation time for either radical overhaul or cancellation if proven to be wasteful or ineffective;
*provide all citizens greater protection from government intimidation (aura force-field activators, jet packs etc) and reject antidisestablishmentarianism through ending the use of psychological evaluation and other thought control (and/or social engineering) tactics for controlling free thinking and/or outspoken individuals; *expose conspiracies to invent ADHD (attention deficit) disease descriptions relied upon by current medical practice to create a market for the drug ritalin; and *not place laid-off workers on anti-depressants as a way to stimulate the pharmaceutical industry and/or economy;
*make sixteen year old boys responsible for what they do with weapons, but also make sixteen year old girls accountable for what they do with their bodies (since females are generally mentally and physically more mature than most males at this age); *require all unmarried women to take full responsibility regarding the consequences of allowing consensual reproductive activities to occur; *ask the pope to advocate widespread condom usage as a new, non-violent de-population method [and warfare replacement]; *not require doggy diapers; increase illegal pooping fines and/or crack down on leg humping and inappropriate sniffing by non-violent dogs roaming state or federal beaches; *treat the sexual abuse of a man in prison as seriously as the sexual abuse of a woman; and *not limit families to 2.5 children with an eventual goal of 1.5 to be phased in over a ten year period; *create a 3-marriage limit which requires people to remain legally married (on paper) to their third spouse for life;
*use the secret service to shag groupies; *shag sexy interns on my big desk; *volunteer to participate in sex research on the new $63 billion dollar international space station; *consider sex a pro-choice option; *shave my head bald and consider myself a solar powered sex machine; *not enact strict no-fun amusement crackdown policies; *support a woman's right to choose (sex); *support life by opposing abortion without making abortion illegal; *try to answer to the best of my ability all questions regarding interns, and my understanding of the terms sexual relations and/or oral sex*require high-tech firms to support a minimum of three napping tents, with one reserved for sex; *allow public nakedness to transform america from the violent, asexual place it has become, into an increasingly naked, shagalicious paradise;*clear out the courtrooms and jail cells by emancipating youth who can maintain a 3.0 grade point average by the age of 16, while bolstering tutoring programs; and *LEGALIZE FREEDOM;
*set a ten year goal of 50 percent reliance on photovoltaic energy production, and encourage expanded solar energy utilization in equatorial regions; *call for a new industrial revolution in which ecology, accountability and profit become partners on equal footing in the global economy; *return alcatraz island to native americans as a reservation for usage as a wildlife sanctuary and offshore indian gaming; *introduce irreversable environmental legislation for protection regardless of changes in administrations largely as a national security issue; and *encourage scientists worldwide to protest continued nuclear weapons and energy research by refusing to participate;
*transform the justice system allowing optional jury duty, rewrite laws increasing the legibility of text to encourage self-representation, and allow yelling and nakedness in the courtroom (bikinis ok); and *legalize and regulate prostitution to; a) give women full control of their bodies; b) address health care concerns; and c) collect tax revenues;
*make all copyrights and worldwide web addresses automatically reserved as potential trademarks for owners; *require registration numbers or electronic signatures on bullets; *require all government agencies to use rechargeable batteries whenever possible and set up battery recycling programs;
*make the economy greener by paving the way for more cannabis distribution centers (to require less driving and/or fuel usage by medical marijuana patients); *establish a program to cultivate industrial hemp; *end narco wars by creating highly regulated organic medical marijuana trade agreements with farmers in afghanistan and/or columbia [etc] to produce high grade aghani and/or columbian gold bud [etc] for medical pot clubs in the U.S.; *prohibit the patenting of hemp seeds by U.S. companies; *eventually legalize all forms of cannabis and therefore float the whole damn economy*re-introduce indigenous hemp and marijuana species back to the wild; *remind government that it is not only unethical - but also highly illegal to intimidate voters before they vote, let alone ten years after (see: federal civil rights statutes and/or california proposition 215); and *smoke pot on the white house roof with willie nelson;
*prosecute illegal MP3 piracy on the internet; *abolish FCC; *expand the anonymous remail system to further protect privacy rights with the use of cryptography; *develop non-deletable government computers to stop 'file shredding'; and *ensure that first amendment rights are as protected in cyberspace as (they are supposed to be) in the rest of life...
VOTE LIK ROPER IN 2020! VOTE LIK ROPER FOR PRESIDENT 2020! as self-appointed leader of the newly formed ROCK N ROLL apolitical party LIK ROPER promises to represent all ten zillion of his semi-inebriated constituents to the very best of his ability VOTE FOR LIK ROPER IN 2020! LIK ROPER promises to make ROCK N ROLL america's number one agenda once again! ~ let ROCK N ROLL rule the world! VOTE LIK ROPER FOR PRESIDENT IN 2020!
JUST KIDDING?: *use voodoo to remotely control congress; *do and say whatever i please and claim executive priviledge if anyone has a problem with any of it; *allow animals to vote to ensure my second term in office; *get a trampoline for the white house roof; *regulate breakfast cereal that tears up the roof of your mouth; *have the white house lawn aerated; *change the roles of the house and senate so everything i say goes; *create harsh penalties for removing tags from pillows or mattresses; *shorten the school year and extend the summer break indefinitely; *require all pizzerias to sell slice pizza by the year 2024; *fling hot dung in the face of convention; *enforce tough new 'play an accordion or tuba ~ go to jail' laws; *automatically dispatch law enforcement when your computer says that you have performed an illegal operation; *require co-ed showers in P.E.; *spontaneously combust terrorists using remote satellite mounted microwave laser technology.; *replace many government employees with trained semi-upright primates to increase efficiency; *abolish the republican party; *increase security within prisons, military bases and high schools; *try my best to attain world domination; *outlaw excessive nosehair and/or public flatulence; create a new ban on all odiferous violations such as anonymous workplace flatulence etc; and *pass gas legislation regulating dangerous new strains of wild and uncontrolled super-flatulence; the most important thing i hope to accomplish as president is the elimination of dangerous new forms of super-flatulence such as SF-A and the dreaded SF-X...
I WILL ALSO: *remind people that a presidential candidates' speech is some of the most protected in the land; *be the proud leader of the second american revolution; *promise you the moon and stars; *gain the world and keep my soul; *return to the one law of the land: do what you will but harm none because all that you do will come back to you three times - existing laws not reflecting the spirit of the one law will either be revised or expunged (no one is above the law); and *ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country...
*be the greatest president ever...
DISCLAIMER: for the most part, LIK ROPER approves of this message - in other words;
if any given opinion upsets you, he was only joking - but if you agree, he means every word...
VOTE ROPER IN 2020!
updated: 20 nov 2016