CONTINUED FROM LIK ROPER FOR PRESIDENT 2000...
*PROHIBIT LAW ENFORCEMENT FROM HAVING THE POWER TO A) EUTHANIZE
INNOCENT, UNARMED PEOPLE TO HOPEFULLY ENCOURAGE THE DEVELOPMENT OF MORE
ADVANCED AND HUMANE POLICE RESTRAINT METHODS OR B) INTIMIDATE OR HARASS
ANYONE DRIVING HOME FROM A CITY COUNCIL MEETING AFTER HAVING
SPOKEN CONTROVERSIAL WORDS AT THE MEETING (ESPECIALLY IN SUNNYVALE).
*HAVE STRICT BAD-COP, NO-DOUGHNUT
POLICY.
*START INTERACTIVE NEW COMMUNITY
POLICING METHODS LIKE MANDATORY STRIP SEARCHES (ESPECIALLY FOR FEMALES) AND
ANNUAL PROCTOSCOPIC EXAMINATIONS.
*MAKE ALL COPYRIGHTS AND WORLDWIDE
WEB ADDRESSES AUTOMATICALLY RESERVED AS TRADEMARKS FOR OWNERS.
*REQUIRE HIGH-TECH FIRMS TO
SUPPORT A MINIMUM OF THREE NAPPING TENTS, WITH ONE RESERVED FOR SEX.
*REQUIRE REGISTRATION NUMBERS
OR ELECTRONIC SIGNATURES ON BULLETS.
*BAN THOUGHT CONTROL (INTERNET
REGULATION, ETC...).
*CREATE AN OUTRIGHT BAN ON EVERYTHING.
*LAUGH AT THE SILLY FOOLS TRYING
TO ‘CLAIM THEIR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS’.
*REQUIRE ALL PIZZERIAS TO SELL
SLICE PIZZA BY THE YEAR 2003.
*CHANGE THE ROLES OF THE HOUSE
AND SENATE SO EVERYTHING I SAY GOES.
*TRY MY BEST TO ATTAIN WORLD
DOMINATION.
*HAVE THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN AERATED.
*TRY TO ANSWER TO THE BEST OF
MY ABILITY ALL QUESTIONS REGARDING INTERNS AND MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE
TERMS ‘SEXUAL RELATIONS’ AND ‘ORAL SEX’.
*OUTLAW EXCESSIVE NOSEHAIR AND
PUBLIC FLATULENCE, OR ANYTHING ‘IMPROPER’.
*SURELY FART ONLY IN PRIVATE.
*AUTOMATICALLY DISPATCH LAW
ENFORCEMENT WHEN YOUR COMPUTER SAYS THAT YOU HAVE PERFORMED AN ILLEGAL
OPERATION.
*CREATE HARSH PENALTIES FOR
REMOVING TAGS FROM PILLOWS OR MATTRESSES.
*REGULATE BREAKFAST CEREAL THAT
TEARS UP THE ROOF OF YOUR MOUTH.
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