CONTINUED FROM LIK ROPER FOR PRESIDENT 2000...

*PROHIBIT LAW ENFORCEMENT FROM HAVING THE POWER TO A) EUTHANIZE INNOCENT, UNARMED PEOPLE TO HOPEFULLY ENCOURAGE THE DEVELOPMENT OF MORE ADVANCED AND HUMANE POLICE RESTRAINT METHODS OR B) INTIMIDATE OR HARASS ANYONE DRIVING HOME FROM A CITY COUNCIL MEETING AFTER HAVING SPOKEN CONTROVERSIAL WORDS AT THE MEETING (ESPECIALLY IN SUNNYVALE).

*HAVE STRICT BAD-COP, NO-DOUGHNUT POLICY.

*START INTERACTIVE NEW COMMUNITY POLICING METHODS LIKE MANDATORY STRIP SEARCHES (ESPECIALLY FOR FEMALES) AND ANNUAL PROCTOSCOPIC EXAMINATIONS.

*MAKE ALL COPYRIGHTS AND WORLDWIDE WEB ADDRESSES AUTOMATICALLY RESERVED AS TRADEMARKS FOR OWNERS.

*REQUIRE HIGH-TECH FIRMS TO SUPPORT A MINIMUM OF THREE NAPPING TENTS, WITH ONE RESERVED FOR SEX.

*REQUIRE REGISTRATION NUMBERS OR ELECTRONIC SIGNATURES ON BULLETS.

*BAN THOUGHT CONTROL (INTERNET REGULATION, ETC...).

*CREATE AN OUTRIGHT BAN ON EVERYTHING.

*LAUGH AT THE SILLY FOOLS TRYING TO ‘CLAIM THEIR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS’.

*REQUIRE ALL PIZZERIAS TO SELL SLICE PIZZA BY THE YEAR 2003.

*CHANGE THE ROLES OF THE HOUSE AND SENATE SO EVERYTHING I SAY GOES.

*TRY MY BEST TO ATTAIN WORLD DOMINATION.

*HAVE THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN AERATED.

*TRY TO ANSWER TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY ALL QUESTIONS REGARDING INTERNS AND MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE TERMS ‘SEXUAL RELATIONS’ AND ‘ORAL SEX’.

*OUTLAW EXCESSIVE NOSEHAIR AND PUBLIC FLATULENCE, OR ANYTHING ‘IMPROPER’.

*SURELY FART ONLY IN PRIVATE.

*AUTOMATICALLY DISPATCH LAW ENFORCEMENT WHEN YOUR COMPUTER SAYS THAT YOU HAVE PERFORMED AN ILLEGAL OPERATION.

*CREATE HARSH PENALTIES FOR REMOVING TAGS FROM PILLOWS OR MATTRESSES.

*REGULATE BREAKFAST CEREAL THAT TEARS UP THE ROOF OF YOUR MOUTH.